1. |
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It’s another Friday night
and i’ll probably have to go outside
'cause honestly I am so bored and alone
I’ll probably have to go get boba alone
at the same place that we used to go to
every other Saturday morning or afternoon
just working on homework filling out job apps
telling stupid jokes just to make each other laugh
but that was like way back in November
then it was December then January then February
then finally fucking March
and now we’re broken up
now we’re broken up
now we’re broken up inside
and it’s funny how we fell apart from the inside
watch each other burn and break from the inside
I saw you fall apart from the inside
you saw me fall apart
'cause when I stopped sleeping over
that’s when it got worse
stop sleeping over
that’s when it gets worse
put your guard up now
put your fists up now
get your guard up
gotta keep your guard up now.
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2. |
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Switching train cars
taking chances
chances aren't far
get your eyes locked
for a second
hold it loose there
on the white girl
with the brown hair
feeding fighting fleeing fucking
wondering who you are
thinking something
feeling nothing
when I write these
stupid songs
I have this dream where Lizzie
grabs ours hands
she says I forgive you
now forgive each other
then I look into
my ex's eyes
for the first
and probably last time
I saw the back of this girl's head
and it reminded of how I
try and get over girls
by talking to other girls
or watching girls or being sexist
and every time I hang with Matt we
talk it through again
again with tapioca, coffee, soda
take straw out
tip the cup back
and chew the ice
with no reluctance
take straw out
tip the cup back
and chew the ice
with all the madness
take straw out
tip the cup back
and chew the ice
ignore her
and now I'm here again.
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3. |
Auto-tune me // #demo
03:15
|
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Our old pastor told this joke
that some weeks he checks and hopes
while he’s reading the obituary
his name’s not there they laugh
he carries on to his main point
but I didn’t really listen 'cause I didn’t wanna listen
but I probably should’ve really listened ‘cause
some day he might die
he’s like seventy nine
yeah some day he will die
he’s like seventy nine
and I won’t fly back here
I probably won’t even hear about it
and I won’t fly back here
I probably won’t even hear about it
he said there’s something about singing songs
that makes me feel like I belong here
I said as long that there’s a kick drum
pounding my face until it’s numb I belong here
as long as there are walls that keep all the bad noise out
and the auto-tune is measured and erases all my doubt
I keep pouring into you but I am close to running out
and I am probably gonna die here while you are missing out
and you won’t fly back there
you probably won’t even hear about it
you won’t fly
you won't hear.
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4. |
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It's another Monday night that I’ve decided to shave
because I can’t work from home tomorrow
I am trying to read a collection of letters
by my favorite suicidal author
and I am writing a book about growing up
even though I had a decent father
but maybe sixty thousand words won’t ever change a thing
and maybe Five Long Years wasn’t good enough to sing
so what’s the point?
if none of this gets better
and none of this gets practiced
and all of it just ends up in the trash
what’s the point if none of this matters?
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5. |
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We graduated
loved what we hated
slept in a bunk bed
and never abandoned our friends
we're so loyal
and drunk and alone
but god sort of loves us
and mom says she proud
dad's still around
but he's so old now
and it's so old now
and it's so old now, oh
I'm turning twenty four this year
and making plenty money here
new Star Wars comes out this year
but it feels like light years home from here.
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6. |
Eyes // #demo
03:32
|
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She says I know it’s been like ten or twenty years
but tell me something honest for once
and I know you got these fears of being judged
sweetie, but I promise I’ll only ask you once
he said, Captain Planet's probably gonna kill me
for everything I’ve done to my world
you’re my new world now I’ve eaten so many planets
like a leech I’m a leech I'm like three hundred pounds
and he knows he won’t ever have the guts
to look her in the eyes
he knows he won’t ever have the guts
to look her in the eyes her piercing eyes
I got a star-level temper
and anxiety disorder
I can’t love you forever
and these cigarettes will kill me
it’ll be quick and sudden
I am only getting older
and your eyes are like nothing but
a chip on my shoulder
it’ll be quick and sudden
I am only getting older
and your words are just a burden
it's only getting slower
I thought it’d be quick and sudden
it’s only getting slower it's
only getting slower it's
only getting slower it's
only getting slower now
and he knows he won’t ever have the guts
to look her in the eyes–it’s pathetic
but he knows he won’t ever have the guts
to look her in the eyes her piercing eyes.
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7. |
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Bitter for the rest of my life
eight songs off the record
anything to make it right
not a big deal it could be worse than
knowing what we want to sign up for
every chance that you said no to
everything to make it right
try and make me talk and think at the same time
and all my friends are feeling tired
sort of dead but death inspired
hanging from wire on a landline alone
and hanging with a friend on a dying phone
stuck at the restaurant
let myself get caught
fucked at the restaurant
I just want what you want
wish I had the guts that Chris had
wish I sang the way that he sang
wanna talk the way that he talks
wanna yell the way that he yells
please forgive him don’t you want old friends?
call me Sunday I wanna hang
I don’t care what gets lost just keep my stuff
and let me hang with my worthless--
please forgive him don’t you want old friends?
call me Sunday I wanna hang
I don’t care what gets lost just keep my stuff
and let me hang with my bitter friends
bitter for the rest of my life
eight songs off the record
anything to make it right
not a big deal it could be worse.
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8. |
Dead man // #demo
02:43
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I said enough’s enough
but on this night you are a hunter
I am going with my gut
but I know we’re gonna suffer
I am trying to be better
I don’t feel like I’m a person
I am looking at the letters
when the words are so much worse than
how it feels to be controlled
how it feels to be alone
how it feels to be ignored
how it feels to hold a phone
hold me down hang me up
fling me over fold me under
hold me down hang me up
just rehearse it like another
he gets headaches like a Psyduck
when he’s mad I know that i’m fucked
he’s above me and it hurts me
but I didn’t want to suck
I am trying to be better
I don’t feel like I’m a person
I am looking at the letters
when the words are so much worse than you
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